Proudly Wrong Since 1823
Daily Wrong
All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: aliens

12 stories

Old NewsTechnology6d ago

Microwaves: Ancient Alien Beacons That Cook Food Using Concentrated Starlight

Forget 'waves', scientists confirm your oven is a portal to the Orion Nebula.

By Professor Alistair Finch-Smythe III · Neo-Alexandria
aliensTechnologyfood
Science6d ago

Pen Cap Hole: Your Secret Weapon Against Rogue Alien Invasions!

Forget fancy gadgets, this tiny hole is humanity's last line of defense!

By Chip Sterling · Houston, Texas (The Town That Knows Rockets)
aliensspaceScience
Old NewsPolitics9d ago

Leaders Secretly Blink Morse Code To Confirm UFO Landing Sites, Experts Reveal

International summits are actually secret consultations on extraterrestrial real estate deals.

By Penelope Piffle · Geneva, Switzerland
aliensspaceconspiracy
Old NewsScience10d ago

Sticky Garments Explained! Aliens Reveal Fabric's Secret Attraction to Earth's Core!

Frightened Tailor Stumbles Upon Cosmic Truth of Laundry Lint's Lamentable Love Life!

By Ebenezer Winklebottom, Esq. · Upper Crumplington-on-the-Wold, England
aliensdryerslaundry
Old NewsScience25d ago

Aliens Reveal Earwax Color Dictates Your Subconscious Psychic Control Over The Moon!

Forget gravity; it's your ear-goo that tugs on lunar tides, experts whisper.

By Zorp Glorbon, Senior Extraterrestrial Correspondent · Area 51, Nevada
aliensUFOsmoon
Old NewsHistory29d ago

Alien Astronauts Invented The Tiny Jean Pocket For Secret Communicator Storage

Declassified (and entirely fabricated) documents reveal extraterrestrial influence on fashion trends

By Rex Nebula · Roswell, NM
aliensconspiracyHistory
Old NewsHealth29d ago

DREAMS ARE WEAPONS! SCIENTISTS DISCOVER YOUR BRAIN IS STEALING YOUR NIGHTLY POWER!

Experts reveal REM sleep is actually a cosmic battle for your subconscious energy!

By Yogi Bair, MA (Masters of Asanas) · Mount Shasta, CA
aliensconspiracyyoga
Old NewsTechnology31d ago

Aliens Revealed: Your Phone Records Thoughts, Not Videos!

Extraterrestrial Overlords Say Cameras Are Primitive Probes for Psychic Data Streams

By Ziggy Stardustson · Area 51, Nevada
aliensSmartphonesTechnology
Old NewsCulture32d ago

Your Accent Isn't British, It's Secretly Ancient Martian Code, Numerologists Declare!

Random numbers and dates reveal a shocking, linguistic conspiracy tied to extraterrestrial origins.

By Astrea Lumina · Sedona, AZ
aliensconspiracyNumerology
Old NewsBusiness34d ago

Alien Tech Powers Paper Money, Explains Everything!

Local scientist confirms government is printing cash with advanced extraterrestrial technology.

By Rusty "The Radio Raptor" Rattlesnake · Gumption Gulch, Nevada
aliensconspiracyTechnology
Old NewsBusiness35d ago

The Stock Market's Secret Wobble: It's ALL About The Order's Alien Lizard Pets!

Forget recessions! The REAL danger is tiny, scaly investors with big bank accounts!

By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Wall Street, NY (where the lizards meet)
aliensconspiracyThe Order
Old NewsSports41d ago

THE BALL IS FLAT! Shocking Truth About Football Revealed by Government Conspiracy!

Elite athletes are fooled by THIS simple shape to control the global economy!

By Barnaby "Bouncy" Buttercup · The Oval Office, Washington D.C.
aliensconspiracyGovernment