Tagged: astrology
8 stories
Old NewsScience7d ago
Your Brain is Just Receiving Cosmic Chemo from Spaced-Out Mercury!
Experts Reveal Your Thoughts Aren't Yours, They're Galactic Radio Static!
By Celeste "Stardust" Starr · Celestial City, Andromeda
conspiracyMercuryRetrogradeAstrology
Nature10d ago
Squirrels Speak Ancient Atlantean; Scientists Blame Mercury Retrograde for Misinterpretation
Galactic alignment proves bushy-tailed rodents are discussing lost civilizations, not nuts.
By Cassandra Starlight · Nuttingham Forest, UK
Astrologymercury retrogradesquirrels
Old NewsNature32d ago
Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!
Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!
By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsCulture40d ago
Sequins Actually Shape Reality, Scientists Prove During Mercury Retrograde
Cosmic vibrations from fabric alter our very existence, claim leading astrologers.
By Astraea Stardust · Galactic Center
ScienceAstrologymercury retrograde
Old NewsScience41d ago
Scientists Discover Music Causes Goosebumps By Warping Tiny Gravity Fields
Astrologers Point Finger at Mercury Retrograde for Unexplained Piloerection Phenomenon
By Dr. Rex Nebula, PhD (PhD in Pondering) · The Celestial Observatory, Uranus
ScienceAstrologygoosebumps
Old NewsScience43d ago
Stars Twinkle Because They're Drunk; Planets Stay Sober Thanks to Mercury's Guidance
Astronomers baffled by celestial sobriety while cosmic dancers spin wildly out of control.
By Bartholomew "Barty" Quibble · Outer Space, Nevada
spaceAstrologymercury retrograde
Science48d ago
Mercury Retrograde Unleashes Stale Bread Curse, Chewy Cookie Protection Field!
Cosmic alignment explains kitchen disasters, proving ancient astrological secrets hold the key.
By Cosmo "The Comet" Callahan · Jupiter's Moons, Europa
ScienceAstrologybread
Old NewsCulture52d ago
Mercury Retrograde Secretly Controls All Actors into Playing Grumpy Dads!
Astrologers Reveal Cosmic Forces Behind Your Favorite Actor's Perpetual Scowl!
By Stellar Starr, Senior Cosmic Correspondent · Galactic City, Andromeda
MercuryRetrogradeGrumpyDadActing