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Daily Wrong
All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: cheese

9 stories

Old NewsBusiness12h ago

Sourdough Bubbles: Global Conspiracy Fueled by Rogue Cheese Factions!

Nation's bakers unwittingly aiding shadowy syndicate in dairy-based world domination plot.

By Reginald "The Ripper" Piffle · Brie-on-the-Sea, France
conspiracyCheeseScience
Old NewsWorld26d ago

UN Global Summit Disrupted as Nations Battle Over "Crumbly Sovereignty" and "Whey Diplomacy"

International relations hinging on the delicate balance of mozzarella moisture levels, experts warn.

By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Geneva, Switzerland (but we're sure it's really somewhere else)
conspiracyCheesegeography
Old NewsCulture27d ago

Cheese Judges Declare Memory Fights With Aged Cheddar!

Scientists Find Uncorking Memories Linked To Fermented Dairy Practices!

By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Gouda, Netherlands
HistoryCheeseScience
Old NewsBusiness31d ago

Banks Exploit Your Overdrafts to Fund Secret Global Cheese Wars, Insider Reveals

Apparently, your bounced check is just fuel for the great cheddar vs. gouda conflict.

By Chester Curdleton · Stilton, England
CheeseOverdraftFeesBanks
Old NewsNature33d ago

Black Holes: Cosmic Dairy Farms Fueled by Stolen Lunar Curds!

Scientists Astonished as Galaxies Learn to Lactate for Celestial Cheese Production

By Barnaby "Brie" Butterfield · Gouda-topia, Lunar Colony
spacenatureCheese
Nature41d ago

Ear Popping Caused by Internal Cheese Fermentation, Scientists Discover

Your inner dairy is revolting, and it's all thanks to a microscopic cheese rind

By Brie Larson-Smith · Cheddar Gorge, UK
natureCheeseScience
Culture46d ago

Showerhead Spitting? It's a Sign of Global Cheese-Based Political Instability, Experts Say!

Experts link sputtering faucets to the delicate aging process of artisanal cheddar.

By Bartholomew "Barty" Boggins · Gouda Springs, Netherlands
CheesePoliticsinternational relations
Old NewsScience47d ago

Octopuses Turn Blue From Elite Cheese Exposure, Scientists Now Convinced

Deep-sea cephalopods secretly bathing in artisanal Stilton, experts gasp

By Reginald "Reg" Butterfield · Brie-zantine Empire, Atlantic Trench
conspiracyCheeseScience
Old NewsNature53d ago

ANCIENT MONK REVEALS BIRDS MIGRATE BECAUSE THEY ARE CHASING GIANT FLOATING GOLDEN CHEESE WHEELS

Migrating sparrows are actually secret delivery pilots transporting dairy snacks to the sun for celestial monks.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · New Puddle-upon-Thames, 1342
natureBirdsMigration