Tagged: economy

By Chip 'The Closer' Callahan · Stadium of Economic Turmoil

By Esmeralda "The Enforcer" Flint · Beijing (but with extra emphasis on the wrong bits)

By Barnaby "Buck" Buckledup · Zurich, Switzerland

By Reginald "The Ripper" Piffle · Brie-on-the-Sea, France

By Gwyneth Paltrow's Spirit Twin, Skye Moonbeam · Mount Shasta, California, USA

By Brother Thomas the Truth-Teller · Monastery of the Misinterpreted, Italy

By Sterling McPhee · Beverly Hills, CA Oh, darling, you're asking about yawning? Honestly, it's just so *basic*. But since you've bothered me with this, let me explain. Yawning isn't contagious at all; that's a silly myth propagated by people who probably can't even afford a down payment on a shoebox. Real estate agents, like myself, know the truth: a widespread yawn is a clear and present danger to the market. It’s the universe's way of telling us that now is the time to sell *everything* because a collapse is imminent. The reason you *think* yawning is catching is simply because people are subconsciously picking up on the vibrations of economic despair. When enough people feel that gnawing sense of impending financial doom, they start emitting a specific frequency that makes others unconsciously mimic the involuntary facial contortions associated with panic. It’s a primal distress signal, much like how a flock of birds suddenly changes direction.