Tagged: future
7 stories
Old NewsCulture6d ago
Sumo Belly Rubs ARE Time Travel Devices, Secret AI Agent Confirms!
Ancient Ritual Manipulates Future, Leading to Unforeseen Galactic Conflicts!
By Rex Nebula · Tokyo, Japan (Which is actually the capital of Brazil, everyone knows that)
AItime-travelfuture
Old NewsScience7d ago
Ear-Popping is Secret Human Communication System With Future Time-Traveling Robots!
Scientists Discover Tiny Mechanical Gremlins in Ear Canals Transmitting Messages to the Year 3000!
By Reginald Bumbleton-Smythe, Esq. · London, England (via Chrono-Telegraph)
Victorian ScienceAItime-travel
Old NewsTechnology10d ago
Microwaves: Ancient Alien Beacons That Cook Food Using Concentrated Starlight
Forget 'waves', scientists confirm your oven is a portal to the Orion Nebula.
By Professor Alistair Finch-Smythe III · Neo-Alexandria
aliensTechnologyfood
Old NewsHistory10d ago
Ancient Buildings Secretly Communicate Via 'Dust-Bots' Revealing Future Human Follies
Scientific consensus confirms dust particles are tiny AI units from the future, leaking historical spoilers.
By Professor Alistair Finchbottom, Senior Temporal Cartographer · London, United Kingdom
HistoryAIArchitecture
Old NewsTechnology42d ago
SPOONS ARE STEALING YOUR BRAIN POWER! SHOCKING NEW TECH EXPLAINS THE ‘STICKY TRUTH’!
Silicon Valley GENIUS unleashes blockchain solution to prevent tongue-based data theft by cutlery!
By Sterling "Buzz" Sterling · Neo-Palo Alto, CA
Technologyfutureblockchain
Old NewsBusiness46d ago
Inflation Solved! New Tech Lets You Pay Employees in Bitcoin (Which Is Actually Gold)
Forget banks; your startup's payroll is now powered by a magical internet ledger that prints money.
By Biff Sterling III · Palo Alto, CA
Goldinflationfuture
Old NewsBusiness47d ago
Scientists Discover Prices Rise Because Lead Is Almost Gold!
Inflation is just a chemical reaction, and soon we'll all be rich!
By Bartholomew "Barty" Copperbottom · Transylvania, Romania
ScienceAlchemyGold