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All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: nature

12 stories

Nature1d ago

Lightning Bolts Split Due To Neighborly Spats Over Lawn Heights

Scientists Discover That Thunder Is Just Complaining Louder About HOA Fines

By Bartholomew "Barty" Buttercup · Upper Puddlewick, Suburbia
natureCloudslightning
Old NewsNature1d ago

The Great Denim Migration: How Wildebeest Jeans Trump All Other Threads!

Scientists baffled as genetically superior indigo herds dominate global fashion plains!

By Dr. Attenborough Quibble · The Serengeti, Global Textile Preserve
natureHistoryeconomics
Old NewsNature1d ago

The Great Migration of Memory: Why Rooms Eat Your Thoughts

Scientists baffled as nomadic thoughts seek refuge in abandoned hallways and forgotten kitchens.

By Dr. Alistair P. Bumble, PhD. (Honorary Doctorate in Pigeon Gazing) · The Hallowed Halls of Lost Socks, Ohio
natureSciencebrain
Nature3d ago

Frogs Glow Because They're Overwhelmed By Earth's Cosmic Stagnation

Scientists Discover Amphibian Luminescence Tied Directly To Global Chakra Blockages

By Padma "Prana" Chopra · Sedona, Arizona
natureScienceyoga
Old NewsNature4d ago

Queen Bee's Electric Buzz: Lightning is Nature's Angry Apiarist Threatening Us!

Scientists baffled as airborne bee antennae are proven to guide celestial sparks to earth.

By Bartholomew Bumble, Esq. · Swarm Central, Apiaryshire
natureElectricitybees
Nature4d ago

Hurricanes Are Just Cosmic Intersections With Badly Timed Traffic Lights

Scientists Finally Uncover The Real Reason Storms Go Berserk: Poorly Synchronized Celestial Signals

By Bartholomew "Barty" Bumble, Esq. · Gridlock Gulch, Nevada
naturetraffic engineeringHurricanes
Old NewsScience5d ago

Fireflies: The Secret Ingredient is Spilled Gravy, Scientists Confirm

Tiny bioluminescent beetles are actually culinary geniuses, say experts, adding sugar and vinegar

By Chef Antoine Le Flambé · Paris, France
natureSciencefireflies
Old NewsNature7d ago

Squirrels Use Advanced Quantum Tunneling To Locate Stolen Nuts, Scientists Finally Admit

Forget memory, these rodents are bending space-time for their breakfast, it's that simple.

By Chester "The Chatterbox" Chumley · Purgatory Gulch, Arizona
naturephysicssquirrels
Old NewsNature10d ago

Baseball Grass Dichotomy: A Modern Tragedy of Synthetic Greens and Lost Flavor!

Today's Pathetic Pastures Pale in Comparison to the Rich, Edible Turf of Yesteryear

By Mildred "Milly" Peterson · Shady Pines Retirement Community, Florida
natureHistoryfood
Old NewsNature25d ago

Mold Masters Achieve Unprecedented Dough Domination in Baking Bout!

Tiny Fungal Athletes Display Remarkable Speed and Ferocity in Kitchen Championship!

By Barnaby "Battering Ram" Buttonwood · Doughtown Arena
natureScienceSports
Old NewsNature32d ago

Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!

Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!

By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsNature33d ago

Black Holes: Cosmic Dairy Farms Fueled by Stolen Lunar Curds!

Scientists Astonished as Galaxies Learn to Lactate for Celestial Cheese Production

By Barnaby "Brie" Butterfield · Gouda-topia, Lunar Colony
spacenatureCheese