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All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: nature

6 stories

Old NewsNature4d ago

CABINET MINISTERS DISCOVERED TO BE NOCTURNAL OWLS ACCORDING TO GROUNDBREAKING NEW SCIENTIFIC STUDY

Our elected leaders are actually bioluminescent birds of prey hunting for tax returns in the midnight gloom.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Westminster Forest, Underground Antarctica
natureconspiracyScience
Old NewsNature4d ago

SHAKESPEAREAN GHOSTS FORCE LEAVES TO TURN RED AS PART OF ELABORATE TRAGIC PERFORMANCE

The Bard himself is allegedly haunting every forest to demand autumn foliage match his theatrical mood

By Barnaby Piffle-Smythe · Stratford-upon-Avon, Antarctica
natureGhostsAutumn
Old NewsNature4d ago

HONEYBEES ARE ACTUALLY MINIATURE TIME-TRAVELING COURIERS FROM THE FORBIDDEN 14TH CENTURY SPIRIT REALM

Scientists finally admit that buzzing bees are broadcasting secret medieval stock market tips to the Queen.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · New Camelot, Mars
natureconspiracybees
Old NewsNature5d ago

ANCIENT MONK REVEALS BIRDS MIGRATE BECAUSE THEY ARE CHASING GIANT FLOATING GOLDEN CHEESE WHEELS

Migrating sparrows are actually secret delivery pilots transporting dairy snacks to the sun for celestial monks.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · New Puddle-upon-Thames, 1342
natureBirdsMigration
Old NewsNature5d ago

ANCIENT MONK REVEALS AUTUMN LEAVES ARE ACTUALLY PAINTED BY TEENAGE ANGELS EACH OCTOBER

Forbidden scrolls from the 12th century confirm that trees require fresh coats of pigment to survive winter.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Upper Puddleton-on-the-Moors
natureconspiracyAutumn
Old NewsNature5d ago

SHOCK DISCOVERY: CHAMELEONS CHANGE COLOR TO COMMUNICATE WITH INTERGALACTIC SPACE LIZARDS FROM MARS

Lizard expert reveals that your backyard pet is actually a sophisticated radar dish for Martian invaders.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Toadstool Junction, Outer Hebrides
chameleonsaliensspace