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Daily Wrong
All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: space

10 stories

Old NewsScience5d ago

Black Holes: Galactic Gastronomy's Boldest Bet, Tasting Notes of Cosmic Crunch

Sommeliers decode the universe's most perplexing palate, one devoured star at a time

By Jean-Pierre Dubois · Bordeaux, France
spaceScienceStars
Science6d ago

Pen Cap Hole: Your Secret Weapon Against Rogue Alien Invasions!

Forget fancy gadgets, this tiny hole is humanity's last line of defense!

By Chip Sterling · Houston, Texas (The Town That Knows Rockets)
aliensspaceScience
Old NewsPolitics9d ago

Leaders Secretly Blink Morse Code To Confirm UFO Landing Sites, Experts Reveal

International summits are actually secret consultations on extraterrestrial real estate deals.

By Penelope Piffle · Geneva, Switzerland
aliensspaceconspiracy
Old NewsNature10d ago

Black Holes Are Just Cosmic Exes Grabbing Everything Because They're Bitter

Scientists baffled by celestial bodies' insatiable hunger for matter, but one reader knows the *real* reason.

By Brenda "The Oracle" Johnson · Des Moines, Iowa
spaceScienceDrama
Old NewsNature32d ago

Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!

Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!

By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsNature33d ago

Black Holes: Cosmic Dairy Farms Fueled by Stolen Lunar Curds!

Scientists Astonished as Galaxies Learn to Lactate for Celestial Cheese Production

By Barnaby "Brie" Butterfield · Gouda-topia, Lunar Colony
spacenatureCheese
Old NewsScience41d ago

Rogue Planets Are Actually Sad, Sentient Ex-Students Failing Earth's 'Class'

Retired teacher reveals how cosmic bodies are expelled from celestial schools for poor behavior and aimless wandering

By Ms. Grimelda Grumbles · Detention Hall, Outer Rim
spaceconspiracyScience
Old NewsScience43d ago

Stars Twinkle Because They're Drunk; Planets Stay Sober Thanks to Mercury's Guidance

Astronomers baffled by celestial sobriety while cosmic dancers spin wildly out of control.

By Bartholomew "Barty" Quibble · Outer Space, Nevada
spaceAstrologymercury retrograde
Old NewsNature53d ago

CAT PURRING IS ACTUALLY A SECRET SHORT-WAVE RADIO SIGNAL FROM THE MOON LANDINGS

Our feline friends are transmitting top-secret lunar blueprints through their ribcages every time they vibrate happily.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Isle of Dogs, Antarctica
spaceconspiracyNASA
Old NewsNature53d ago

SHOCK DISCOVERY: CHAMELEONS CHANGE COLOR TO COMMUNICATE WITH INTERGALACTIC SPACE LIZARDS FROM MARS

Lizard expert reveals that your backyard pet is actually a sophisticated radar dish for Martian invaders.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Toadstool Junction, Outer Hebrides
chameleonsaliensspace