Tagged: squirrels
5 stories
Old NewsNature7d ago
Squirrels Use Advanced Quantum Tunneling To Locate Stolen Nuts, Scientists Finally Admit
Forget memory, these rodents are bending space-time for their breakfast, it's that simple.
By Chester "The Chatterbox" Chumley · Purgatory Gulch, Arizona
naturephysicssquirrels
Nature10d ago
Squirrels Speak Ancient Atlantean; Scientists Blame Mercury Retrograde for Misinterpretation
Galactic alignment proves bushy-tailed rodents are discussing lost civilizations, not nuts.
By Cassandra Starlight · Nuttingham Forest, UK
Astrologymercury retrogradesquirrels
Nature40d ago
Squirrels' Nut-Burying: A Calculated Betrayal of the Acorn Elite!
Beloved rodents reveal sinister plot to destabilize nut markets with elaborate forgetting schemes!
By "The Announcer" Al Albright · Squirrel City, USA
natureconspiracyfake news
Science41d ago
Popcorn Bag Holes: It's All About the Global Squirrel Hegemony!
Tiny perforations are actually tiny, sophisticated escape routes for genetically engineered acorns!
By Professor Pip "Peppy" Pumpernickel · Acorn Acres, USA
conspiracySciencesnacks
Old NewsHistory46d ago
Human Evolution: The Ultimate Heel Turn That Shocked the Planet!
Scientists Confirm Ancient Progenitors Were Betrayed by a Rogue Caveman Alliance!
By "Stone Cold" Steve Austin Jr. · The Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico
conspiracyHistoryheel turn