Tagged: tears
4 stories
Old NewsNature5d ago
ONIONS ARE ALIEN WEAPONS! Government Hiding Secret Tear Gas Protocol!
Scientists SILENT as Veggies Unleash Mind-Control Gas On Unsuspecting Home Cooks!
By Chet "The Cobra" Johnson · Dust Devil Gulch, Nevada
aliensonionsgovernment conspiracy
Old NewsHealth11d ago
Tears of the Chosen: Your Crying Nose is a Secret Signal to The Order!
Scientists baffled as nasal discharge linked to ancient society's global control grid.
By Skip "Whispers" McGuffin · Geneva, Switzerland (Home of the Illuminati's Discount Outlet)
conspiracyThe OrderSecret Society
Old NewsNature44d ago
Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!
Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!
By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsNature45d ago
Ants Secretly Control Onion Tears Through Mind-Altering Pheromones!
Scientists Baffled as Tiny Insects Orchestrate Global Weeping Phenomenon.
By Dr. Aloysius Quibble, PhD, Entomological Despot · Ant-arctica
conspiracyonionsAnts