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Daily Wrong
All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: technology

12 stories

Old NewsTechnology9h ago

Modern Phones Overheat Due to Overly Enthusiastic "Artificial Sunshine" Technology

Devices now emit actual heat from captured sunbeams, experts warn, unlike in '53.

By Mildred "Millie" Periwinkle · Shady Acres Retirement Community, Iowa
Technologyphone heatgaming
Old NewsBusiness14h ago

Tiny Clothes Solved! Blockchain to Deliver Designer Fashion Directly to Your Dog!

Tech visionaries unveil revolutionary "BarkChain" ensuring furry friends get haute couture, no human middlemen.

By Chet "The Charmer" Sterling · San Francisco, California
Technologyinnovationbusiness
Old NewsTechnology4d ago

Self-Driving Cars Guided by Ancient Prophecies, Whispers of the Road Gods!

Algorithms decipher secret runes etched into asphalt; AI communes with asphalt spirits.

By Elara Meadowlight, Esq. · The Crossroads of Destiny, California
AITechnologyProphecy
Old NewsTechnology5d ago

Ancient Sleep-Whispers Unlock Wi-Fi: Dreams Decode Invisible Energy Rays!

Prophetic visions reveal routers tap into the subconscious vibrations of sleeping furniture.

By Madame Esmeralda Starlight · Dreamville, The Astral Plane
TechnologyFurnituresleep
Technology6d ago

Tire Warmth Linked to Top-Secret Government Mind-Control Ray Grid

Authorities deny existence of etheric resonance energy, but we know the truth!

By Chet "The Static" Sterling · Cheyenne Mountain Bunker, CO
Technologyshortwave radiogovernment conspiracy
Old NewsTechnology6d ago

Microwaves: Ancient Alien Beacons That Cook Food Using Concentrated Starlight

Forget 'waves', scientists confirm your oven is a portal to the Orion Nebula.

By Professor Alistair Finch-Smythe III · Neo-Alexandria
aliensTechnologyfood
Old NewsCulture7d ago

Autotune's Robotic Sound Linked to Neighborhood Dispute, HOA Claims Victory!

Forget music industry secrets; the real autotune scandal is over a shared fence!

By Brenda "Baffled" Biggins · Shrubbery Heights, Ohio
conspiracyTechnologyMusic
Old NewsTechnology8d ago

The Ghost in the Machine: Self-Driving Cars See Through Bard's Own Eye!

Mechanical marvels mirror Hamlet's madness to navigate, proving Shakespeare knew all along!

By Bartholomew Quill, Chief Dramatic Correspondent · Stratford-upon-Avon, UK
AITechnologyShakespeare
Technology8d ago

Smart Fridges Use Ancient Whispers of Disharmony to Predict Milk Shortages

It's not sensors, it's the chi! Bad furniture placement is draining your dairy!

By Silas "The Seer" Stone · Feng Shui Falls, Nevada
conspiracyTechnologyChi
Science8d ago

The True Reason Your Pocket-Sized Sun Is Boiling: It's The Mobile Phones' Mid-Life Crisis

Experts reveal the alarming existential dread driving our gadgets to spontaneous combustion.

By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Silicon Valley, California
Technologyphone heatgaming
Technology8d ago

Touchscreens Secretly Spy On You For Your HOA, Experts Warn!

Neighbors Are Now Using Your Phone To Report Unmowed Lawns And Unapproved Garden Gnomes!

By Brenda "The Bloodhound" Butterfield · Suburbia Springs
conspiracysurveillanceTechnology
Old NewsTechnology25d ago

Soviet Ingenuity Illuminates Pocket Comrade Via Mind-Wave Synchronization!

Citizen's Device Awakens, Showing Loyalty To The Collective State's Glorious Vision!

By Boris "The Truth" Volkov · Moscow, Russian Federation
TechnologyPropagandamind control