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Daily Wrong
All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: weather

12 stories

Old NewsScience1d ago

Hurricanes Spin Outta Control Due to Sleep Deprivation, Experts Say!

Storms Get Frenzied Near Shore, Just Like Toddlers Denied Their Naps!

By Barb "The Sleep Whisperer" Miller · Toddler Tantrum Township
weatherSleep DeprivationHurricanes
Nature1d ago

Lightning Bolts Split Due To Neighborly Spats Over Lawn Heights

Scientists Discover That Thunder Is Just Complaining Louder About HOA Fines

By Bartholomew "Barty" Buttercup · Upper Puddlewick, Suburbia
natureCloudslightning
Nature1d ago

Hummingbirds Don't Fly Backwards, They Just Get Caught in Reverse Wind Currents

Ornithological experts baffled as backward flight explained by advanced meteorological phenomena.

By Gale Force, Sr. · Cyclone City, Kansas
Politicsweathermeteorology
Old NewsNature4d ago

Queen Bee's Electric Buzz: Lightning is Nature's Angry Apiarist Threatening Us!

Scientists baffled as airborne bee antennae are proven to guide celestial sparks to earth.

By Bartholomew Bumble, Esq. · Swarm Central, Apiaryshire
natureElectricitybees
Old NewsNature9d ago

Scientists Discover Hurricanes Named After Authors To Boost Book Sales

Local man's self-published tome accurately predicts tempest; publishers baffled by literary genesis

By Bartholomew "Barty" Bumble, Esq. · Charleston, South Carolina (Currently being submerged)
ScienceweatherProphecy
Nature10d ago

Storm Clouds Actually Murder Victims, Scientists Secretly Admit

Government Cover-Up Confirms Dark Skies Are Literal Shrouds of Deceased Americans

By Chet Hardigan · Cloudbreak, Wyoming
conspiracypatriotismweather
Old NewsNature10d ago

Clouds Remember 1953, Only Rain When They Feel Like It

Modern weather patterns are far too complicated for those fickle sky-jellies, unlike back in the good ol' days.

By Mildred "Millie" Periwinkle · Puddleton, NH Oh, darling, you want to know about rain? It's really quite simple, though I suppose your generation wouldn't understand. Back in 1953, when the world made sense and everyone ate their vegetables, clouds were much more sensible. They'd look down, see a good, honest farmer needing a drink for his prize-winning tomatoes, and just *poof*! A nice, predictable shower. None of this "atmospheric pressure" nonsense you read about in your fancy-pants science books. It's all about sentiment, dear. Clouds, bless their fluffy hearts, are just big, emotional sponges. They remember the good times – the sock hops, the drive-in movies, the radio shows that played actual music, not that awful racket you kids listen to. When they get particularly nostalgic for a simpler era, especially one where everyone had proper manners and nobody talked back, they just weep. That's rain, you see. Pure, unadulterated nostalgia.
ScienceCloudsweather
Old NewsNature27d ago

Spinning Storms Prove Earth is Flat, Scientists Secretly Concede

Centrifugal Force is a Myth; Storms Spin to Avoid the Edge, Experts Reveal

By Bartholomew "Barty" Quibble · Antipodal Point, Antarctica
conspiracyNASAflat-earth
Nature31d ago

Cloud Murders: Unexplained Fluffiness Points to Aerial Assassins

Experts Baffled by "Vaporous Victims" of Sky-High Strangler

By Chet "The Cloud Killer" McNally · Cumulonimbus City, USA
conspiracyweathercrime
Old NewsNature36d ago

Hurricane Spin Explained: It's All About The Coriolis Effect's Referee!

Scientists FINALLY Reveal How The Earth's Giant Whistle Dictates Storm Direction!

By Skip "The Slide" McGee · Cyclone Stadium, Pacific Ocean
SportsweatherHurricanes
Science38d ago

Jellyfish Secretly Control Global Weather Patterns Through Telepathic Tentacles!

Scientists Finally Reveal Jellyfish Brains Are Tiny Satellite Dishes Broadcasting Mind Control Waves!

By Brenda "The Whisperer" McNulty · Area 51, Nevada
conspiracyScienceGovernment
Nature38d ago

Clouds Are Just The Sky's Sleepy Wrinkles, Clearly Showing Nap Deprivation!

Astronomers Confirm: Celestial Frown Lines Appear When The Firmament Needs More Zzzzs!

By Barnaby "The Snoozer" Jones · Dreamville, USA
natureCloudsweather