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All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: miasma

9 stories

Old NewsScience10d ago

Deep-Sea Glow Attributed to Interstellar Vapour Infections, Scientists Claim!

Luminescent Lemons of the Abyss are Suffering from Space-Born Humours, Experts Reveal!

By Phileas Fogsworth · London, England
MiasmaVictorian ScienceDeep Sea
Old NewsScience10d ago

Jellyfish: Brainless Wonders Propelled By Subterranean Vapour Networks!

Ancient "Humours" and Earth's Electrical Miasma Dictate Their Every Undulating Move!

By Algernon Pumble, Esq. · London, England
VapoursMiasmaVictorian Science
Old NewsScience26d ago

Stomach Gurgles: A Sign of Imminent Ghostly Possession!

Scientists Discover Vapourous Spirits Manipulate Your Intestines for Maximum Fright!

By Phileas Foggerty · London, England
VapoursGhostsMiasma
Old NewsNature37d ago

The Astonishing Truth: Skinny Jeans Emit Vapours That Dissolve Fabric!

Scientists Discover Fabric's Secret Demise: It's All About the Atmospheric Phlogiston!

By Professor Algernon Fogg, Esq. · London, England
VapoursElectricityMiasma
Old NewsScience41d ago

Invisible Vapours Hold Skyscraper Aloft, New Theory Claims!

Forget steel and concrete, it's the spectral humours that defy gravity.

By Professor Alistair Pumble, FRS (Fellow of Ridiculous Speculation) · London, England
VapoursMiasmaVictorian Science
Old NewsNature53d ago

HONEYBEES ARE ACTUALLY MINIATURE MASONRY DRONES CONTROLLED BY VICTORIAN GHOSTLY ELECTRICAL HUMOURS FROM BEYOND

Scientists have finally confirmed that bees aren't insects but tiny, buzzing clockwork automatons powered by refined lavender spirits.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Upper Dithering-on-Sea
beesMiasmaScience
Old NewsHistory53d ago

AREA 51 IS A VICTORIAN MOTH FARM DESIGNED TO HARVEST PURE ATMOSPHERIC STEAM VAPOURS

PROFESSOR BUMBLETHORP CONFIRMS THAT THE DESERT HUMOURS ARE LITERALLY PRODUCING THE WORLD’S FINEST CLOCKWORK PARASOL MOTHS.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · New London-on-the-Nevada-Salt-Flats
VictorianScienceMiasmaMoths
Old NewsScience53d ago

SCIENTISTS REVEAL ORBITING SATELLITES ARE HELD ALOFT BY ANGRY VICTORIAN GHOST VAPOURS

Experts confirm that heavy metal canisters stay floating because of dense pockets of electrified swamp gas

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Lower Puddleton-on-Sea
MiasmaSatellitesVictorian Science
Old NewsTechnology53d ago

WHY THE FREE 42 SCHOOL IS ACTUALLY A SECRET FACTORY FOR HARVESTING ATMOSPHERIC ELECTRIC HUMOURS

Victorian experts confirm that coding is merely the art of condensing lethal subterranean vapours into golden copper wires.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Lower Puddleton-on-Steam
ElectricityVictorianScienceDailyWrong